true_sentinel

So long time no post. In defence, life sort of imploded rather spectacularly, though not wholly unpleasantly. It's taken me quite some time to get back on track with everything and so certain things have had to take something of a back seat. I haven't written in here largely because this is not a personal journal and I haven't had time to consider anything outside of the personal sphere of late. Now I am back and I have one or two very different things to ponder.

( Scottish Nationalism Rant: cut because I went on and on and on and... )

Because, y'know, monkey see, monkey do:


My Personality

Neuroticism	40
Extraversion	71
Openness To Experience	98
Agreeableness	79
Conscientiousness	35

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Odd, really didn't think I was organised at all, in any shape or form - go me!

Read this yesterday and was highly amused. I think this tradition should be incorporated into British culture, for me, if nobody else!

Today's rant is brought to you courtesy of the copy of 'Star' magazine I bought to read while I travelled. Really, I should have gone with my instincts and stuck with the book I borrowed from my friend, but never mind - point is, I bought it, read it and now have something to whinge about.

( Cut because you know it's gonna be long! )

"Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."

- Gallagher

( Cut because I went on for a bit )

I was planning an entry on other issues, but something closer to home has piqued my interest instead. It is a rather trivial concern, but I have been wondering about it for some time now.

What do people actually do on the internet?

I don't mean accessing porn or anything illeagal, just...what does one do for fun? I seem to spend my days going 'round and 'round the same group of about five websites getting increasingly bored. I mean, I do read quite a bit and watch TV, but I am rather curious as to what I miss out on while I continue on my loop of sites. Maybe I simply need to walk away from the internet and feed my mind with more intellectual pusuits, but sometimes, I just want to be able to play with the internet and I'd like to be able to do something different with it.

On that note, I am off to see if I can't find something new that interests me - it's a big place so one would imagine that there are more than five websites of interest to me! Millions of forums, games and....well, I'm sure I shall make some discoveries along the way.

Say what you will about classical music, I defy anyone not to adore the works of Mozart. Every time I hear a piece I've never heard before, I am always awed by the sheer beauty of his melodies. I love pretty much all classical music, but I must confess to having a special place in my heart for Austria's darling. Well, OK, one of Austria's darlings - they really did hit the jackpot when it came to famous composers didn't they? Well, them and Italy.

However, if I may, I would like to recommend Max Bruch's Violin Concerto No.2. There is just something impossibly emotive about that particular piece. It's about 11 minutes long, but it's worth it, it really is. Oh how I love Prom season. I was all upset at missing the radio broadcast of HMS Pinnafore last summer, only to find that BBC1 were showing it upon my return. I was absolutely delighted and so glad to have caught it, as it was simply marvellous.

I must confess to feeling culturally starved living as far north as I do. It's not the same sitting watching it on TV, because there is always the temptation to switch over and watch trash. I will resist this evening I think, although I need to check the programme for the rest of tonight before I make the final decision. Mind you, it is the special one for HRH, so maybe I will sit and listen as I read something suitably cultured. I must invest in a radio so that I can sit in the garden and listen to the 7pm broadcast, but of course then I'd have to miss the soaps. I really am a hideous mish mash of culture and trash I am. I like to strike a balance.

Right, culture ho!

Just happened across this rather fascinating article written by Stephen Fry in which he defends the study of history. As a student of history myself, I found I identified with a lot of what he says.

Go on, click it!

Tonight's musings are brought to you through the power of my frustration. I am surrounded by people who have places at all sorts of prestigious academic establishments, yet very few of them seem to actually give two hoots about their work. I mean, I of all people can understand the tendency to be a bit lazy and to have off days where you don't want to do it, but what I am talking about here is a complete disregard for everything about their subject yet, when you talk to them, they enthuse about it and say things like "Oh, it's so terribly fascinating" and then reel off the one fact they picked up that day during a five minute session in which they flicked through a book before putting it down and going to do other more pointless things.

I don't really like to divulge to much personal information about myself in this thing, as I want it to be open as possible, but without people who know me in reality finding it. I hope my (two!) readers understand that, I know I'm weird! Anyway, I had an incredible passion for my subject when I was at university. I atended every class, read every book and wouldn't shut up in tutorials. I cannot bear people who just declare how much they cannot be bothered. Fine, it's your life and whatnot, but spare a thought for the poeple who only just missed out on a place at their chosen university. The people who would have fought tooth and nail to have that place, and who would have made their time there worthwhile.

Now, occasionally, people neglect their work a bit in favour of being involved heavily in university politics and other such pursuits. This I can understand and it is something I really admire in other people. It is those who choose to spend their time drunk twenty four hours a day, seven days a week or in other such self-destructive pursuits. Don't have the cheek to tell me that you are passionate about your subject when in reality you don't actually care. It is terribly frustrating, especially to someone like myself who actively sought debate and discussion in classes, only to be met with stony silence. Classes are so much more boring that way.

In short, I don't really care that my friends do nothing, that is their choice. I just wish they'd all stop banging on about how much they love their subject. You're eyes are dead when you say it - there is no PASSION! You spend all those years running up massive debts to come away with a sub-standard degree, evidently bored out of your skull and with no guarrantee of a job at the end of it. At least I can honestly say that I enjoyed expanding my mind and really engaging with my subject. It realy is some consolation while I remain unemployed!

So to sum this particular rant up - find some thing you are PASSIONATE about and DO IT!

To my eternal shame, I hold up my hands and admit that most heinous of intellectual crimes:

I watch Big Brother.

Now, I know what I see on the screen before me is essentially a collection of individuals whose sole ambition is to be famous. This alone makes me curious. Why on earth would anyone want fame? Fortune I could understand, but fame? To never have a moment of privacy; to have to endure every pitfall in your life knowing that millions of people know what is happening to you, every humiliation, every hurt, every stumble. That is what these people want for themselves?

I have never understood that mentality. Watching the X Factor (yes, another of my intellectual crimes) auditions, so many people lining up, when asked why they wanted to do the show had only one answer: "I want to be famous". There is no love for music, no joy in singing and that my friends is why so many of them don't last the course. If there is no love for music, for singing, for performance then fame will soon lose its appeal. If there is no talent to justify a person's celebrity status they will soon be forgotten about. Of course, I am aware that this is not true in all cases, but in general, those who cannot justify conntinued fame will disappear off the radar.

What concerns me about the contestants on Big Brother is their mental stability. So many are so evidently fragile that one has to question the morality in electing to put them in there. Yes, I concede that it does make for explosive television at times, but what should be remembered is that this entertainment comes at the price of someone else's sanity. I can accept that they did put themselves forward for it and after six series, if they didn't realise what it entailed then they should have stayed away. However, my concern is that they are so blinded by the prospect of being famous that they don't consider the down side to being on such a television programme.

Of course, as soon as they're inside, it becomes clear that this isn't going to be an easy ride to fame and that it is essentially a popularity contest. Whining that people don't know the real you isn't going to make a blind bit of difference, they will judge you as they see fit. It may be wrong, but there is little else to go on. This results in perfectly normal people suddenly becoming national hate-figures, booed upon their exit as though they had spent their time in the house killing puppies rather than simply venting their spleen once in a while. That will take it's toll on any person, no matter how hard they try to pretend it doesn't bother them. To know that you are hated by such a large number of people has got to be gutting on some level.

Now, I have considered applying on numerous occasions, but I am pretty certain that I would be rejected at the first hurdle. For you see, I am far to dull and ordinary. I don't want fame, I would simply like some interview money in order to pay off my student debt. I always figured I could be the first one out and still make enough to live comfortably on for a little while. Then I would find myself a proper job and people would never remember me. All they would know is that I looked a bit familiar and maybe they'd seen me somewhere before and I would simply smile and say "I don't think so, I must just have one of those faces" and I could live in blissful anonymity forever!

Of course, then it was pointed out to me that I couldn't bet on being first out and I may end up stuck there for three months with God knows what kind of freaks. I thought perhaps I should just shoulder my debt like everyone else and get a nice proper job.

Anyway, I have gone on for long enough and I am missing Big Brother. I will never learn.

Never.